Why Understanding Stress Gently Can Help You Create More Peace in Your Life

sparklingsoulyoga
1 day ago
10 min read

In today’s fast-moving world, stress has become a constant companion for many of us. Sometimes whispering in the background, sometimes shouting at the forefront of our lives. It can show up as a tight jaw, a racing mind at 2am, a short fuse with the people we love, or that heavy feeling of “I’m carrying too much.”

But what is stress, really? And how can we begin to relate to it in a kinder, more empowered way?

I believe that while stress is part of being human, so is resilience. With awareness, gentle curiosity, and supportive practices, you can learn to meet stress with more calm, clarity, and compassion. And remember: Self care is essential for survival.

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”

— William James

What Is Stress?

From a physiological perspective, stress is your body’s natural response to a perceived challenge, demand, or threat.

When something feels “too much” (even if it’s just a full inbox or running late), your nervous system switches into survival mode. Heart rate increases, muscles tense, breathing becomes shallow, and stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline are released. This is often called the fight–flight–freeze response.

In small doses, this response is actually helpful. It sharpens your focus, boosts your energy, and helps you respond to life’s demands. Think of:

Meeting an important deadline
Slamming on the brakes to avoid a car accident
Navigating a big life change with extra alertness

This is acute stress – short-term and usually resolving once the situation passes.

The challenge is when stress becomes chronic. When your nervous system is “switched on” too often or for too long, the very system designed to protect you begins to wear you down. You might notice:

Ongoing fatigue
Brain fog or difficulty concentrating
Muscle tension and pain
Digestive upsets
Sleep problems
Heightened anxiety, irritability, or low mood

Over time, chronic stress doesn’t just affect the mind, it affects the whole body, your relationships, your sense of self, and your capacity to experience joy.

Stress as Disconnection

Stress often pulls us into a state of disconnection, from ourselves, from others, and from the present moment.

Our nervous systems become overactive, our minds race, and our bodies hold onto tension. We rush, we multitask, we push through. We might even tell ourselves, “I’m just busy” or “This is just how life is,” while quietly ignoring the signals our body is sending us.

Yet through mindful movement, steady breathing, and the intentional practice of yoga, we can return to a state of balance. And in balance, peace arises.

Yoga invites us back into connection, with breath, with body, with feelings, with what truly matters.

How Stress Shows Up in the Body, Mind & Heart

Stress is not “just in your head.” It’s a full-body experience that touches every layer of our being.

In the Body

Tight shoulders, neck, or jaw
Headaches or migraines
Shallow breathing or a sense of “not getting enough air”
Knots or butterflies in the stomach
Digestive issues like bloating, IBS, or nausea
Changes in appetite
Fatigue or restlessness

In the Mind

Racing thoughts
Overthinking and worry (“What if…?”, “I should have…”)
Difficulty focusing or making decisions
Perfectionism and self-criticism
Feeling mentally “cluttered” or scattered

In Emotions & Behaviour

Irritability, frustration, or anger
Tearfulness or emotional sensitivity
Feeling numb or checked out
Procrastination or avoidance
Overworking, overcommitting, or people-pleasing
Reaching for quick comforts (scrolling, sugar, alcohol) instead of true rest

Recognising these signs isn’t about judging yourself, it’s about learning to listen. Your body is often the first to let you know when something needs care and attention.

When Stress and Grief Intertwine

Stress doesn’t only come from busy schedules and work deadlines. Some of the deepest stress we experience comes from loss and change.

Recently, my family and I experienced a great loss with the passing of a very important member of our family. Grief touched us closely, and it was a tender reminder of how differently each person grieves. Some feel it in waves of emotion, others in silence, others through exhaustion or physical aches. All of it is valid.

Grief doesn’t just affect the heart, it affects the whole body. It can leave us stressed, tired, restless, and overwhelmed. You might notice:

Nervous system overload – Feeling wired, on edge, or stuck in fight–flight–freeze.
Sleep disruptions – Difficulty falling or staying asleep.
Hormonal shifts – Elevated stress hormones leaving you foggy or run-down.
Body tension – Tightness in the chest, shoulders, or stomach.
Mental and emotional weight – A swirl of thoughts and feelings that makes even simple tasks feel heavy.

Grief isn’t always obvious. It might be the loss of:

A relationship, friendship, or marriage
Health, mobility, or independence
A career, identity, or sense of purpose
Children growing up and leaving home
A home, community, or sense of belonging
A dream, plan, or version of life that didn’t unfold as imagined

All of these carry weight. All of these can create stress. And all of them are valid reasons to be gentle with yourself.

One of the most supportive things we can do in these times is to find space to pause – through rest, breath, or gentle movement – to soften the edges of what we’re feeling.

Yoga won’t erase grief, but it can create small pockets of peace and spaciousness, so you can simply be with what you feel, without judgment or pressure to “move on.”

Stress, Women & the Nervous System

While stress affects everyone, women often experience and carry it in unique ways. Here are some gentle insights to consider:

Multitasking pressure

Women’s brains are more wired for multitasking, which can feel like a superpower—until you’re juggling work, home, caregiving, and emotional labour. That constant switching can be very draining on the nervous system.

The cortisol connection

Chronic stress can raise cortisol levels. In the short term, this might feel like extra energy; in the long term, it can contribute to fatigue, mood changes, and weight gain—particularly around the midsection.

Emotional memory

Women often remember emotional experiences more vividly. This can deepen empathy and connection, but it can also mean that painful or stressful memories linger.

Gut–brain connection

Many women are more prone to stress-related digestive issues. Stress hormones can affect gut function, showing up as IBS, bloating, or discomfort.

Stress and heart health

Emotional stress can impact women’s heart health, sometimes even without the traditional physical risk factors.

Nature, music, and connection

Time in nature, listening to uplifting music, a good cry, and heartfelt conversations with friends can all help release stress and support emotional regulation.

And of course: Yoga isn’t just stretching. Women who practice yoga regularly often report lower stress, improved emotional resilience, and a deeper sense of self-trust. Yoga becomes not just something you do, but a way of relating to yourself with more compassion.

The Inner Side of Stress: Mindset & Self-Talk

Stress doesn’t always come from the outside. Often, it’s the way we interpret and respond to life’s events that creates tension inside.

Our thoughts, the inner stories we tell ourselves, can either soothe or stir up stress.

You might notice thoughts like:

“I must get this right or I’ll fail.”
“I should be coping better.”
“What if this all goes wrong?”
“Everyone else is handling life better than I am.”

These thoughts can keep your nervous system in a state of high alert, even when you’re physically safe.

When you’re feeling anxious, frustrated, or overwhelmed, your behaviours might start to mirror that inner tension:

Rushing through your day
Snapping at loved ones
Overthinking or procrastinating
Reaching for quick, numbing comforts

Recognising this cycle is the first step toward freedom. When you see the pattern, you have more choice.

A Gentle Tool: Keeping a Stress Journal

One simple, powerful way to understand your stress is to keep a stress journal. This isn’t about creating more work for yourself, it’s a compassionate check-in.

Each day, take a few moments to write down:

What made you feel tense or overwhelmed?
What were your thoughts in that moment?
How did your body feel?
What did you do to cope?

Over time, patterns begin to emerge. You may notice:

Certain situations or people that consistently trigger stress
Times of day when you are more vulnerable to overwhelm
Coping strategies that soothe you—and those that leave you feeling worse

This insight gives you the power to respond more intentionally and kindly to yourself.

Yoga Philosophy: Ahimsa, Impermanence & Acceptance

In yoga philosophy, we often return to the principle of ahimsa, which means non-violence or compassion.

Practicing ahimsa is about more than avoiding harm, it’s about actively choosing peace in our thoughts, words, and actions.

When we:

Speak to ourselves with kindness instead of criticism
Release harsh judgments about how we “should” be coping
Give ourselves permission to rest instead of pushing through at all costs

…we are practicing peace.

And when we embody peace, we naturally share it with those around us, our families, colleagues, and communities.

Yoga also reminds us of impermanence. Every moment, every emotion, every wave of stress will eventually change. When you’re in the middle of a difficult season, it can feel endless. But no feeling is final.

Another key teaching is acceptance, not resignation, but a softening around what we cannot control. When we stop resisting reality and instead meet it with curious awareness, stress often begins to loosen its grip.

How Yoga Supports Stress Relief & Resilience

Yoga supports us on multiple levels: body, breath, mind, and spirit. Here’s how regular practice can transform your relationship with stress:

Reduces stress and promotes calmness

Yoga activates the parasympathetic nervous system—the body’s “rest and restore” mode—helping to lower stress hormones and invite a sense of peace.

Improves mental clarity and focus

Movement, breath (pranayama), and meditation combine to steady the mind and improve concentration.

Enhances self-awareness

By tuning into body and breath, yoga encourages gentle, non-judgmental awareness of your thoughts and emotions, making it easier to choose supportive responses.

Builds emotional resilience

On the mat, you practice staying with sensation, breathing through challenge, and softening where you can. This translates into life as the ability to pause, breathe, and respond more skillfully.

Supports brain health

Emerging research suggests that regular yoga and meditation can positively influence the areas of the brain involved in memory, learning, and emotional regulation.

Interrupts negative thought patterns

Yoga brings you into the present moment, reducing rumination and worry, and shifting your energy toward grounded presence.

Cultivates a more positive mindset

Through mindful movement and breath, you begin to relate to yourself with more compassion. Over time, this softens self-criticism and strengthens inner confidence.

On the mat, we explore practices that ground us, soothe the nervous system, and open the heart. Off the mat, yoga becomes the way you speak to yourself, the way you care for your body, and the way you choose to meet each moment—with a little more kindness.

Simple Practices to Support Your Nervous System

You don’t need a full 90-minute class to begin regulating your nervous system. Small,

consistent practices make a big difference.

1. A Calming Breath Practice (4–6 Breath)

Inhale gently through the nose for a count of 4.
Exhale softly through the nose (or mouth) for a count of 6.
Repeat for 3–5 rounds.

Lengthening the exhale signals safety to your nervous system and helps to settle stress.

2. A Mini Mindfulness Reset

Take a few minutes to move through your senses:

Notice 5 things you can see – colours, shapes, textures.
Notice 4 things you can feel – your clothing, the chair, the floor under your feet.
Notice 3 things you can hear – near and far.
Notice 2 things you can smell.
Notice 1 thing you can taste.

This simple practice brings you out of the spinning mind and into the present moment.

3. Gentle Movement

Even a few minutes of stretching can help:

A gentle twist (seated or standing) to wring out tension.
A few rounds of Cat–Cow to release your spine.
A forward fold, letting your head hang heavy, to soften the nervous system.

Every stretch is a small act of saying, “I’m here. I’m listening to my body.”

Everyday Self-Care for Stress Relief

Self-care doesn’t have to be complex or costly. It’s about tending to your nervous system in small, consistent ways. Here are some of my favourite simple practices:

1. Hugs & safe touch

Conscious, loving touch—hugs, a hand on the shoulder, a massage—can lower cortisol and increase oxytocin, the “bonding” hormone.

2. JOMO (Joy of Missing Out)

Try cancelling one non-essential commitment this week—a meeting you’re not needed in, a social event that feels like an obligation—and use that time to rest or do something nourishing.

3. Embrace silence

Turn off music, podcasts, and background noise for just 10–15 minutes. Allow yourself to sit, breathe, and notice how you feel. Silence helps you reconnect with yourself.

4. Stretch it out

A few yoga poses—like Downward Dog, Child’s Pose, or a simple side stretch—can ease anxiety and create more spaciousness in your body and mind.

5. Try alternate-nostril breathing

Gently alternate breathing through one nostril at a time (using your fingers to softly close one side, then the other). This balances the nervous system and calms the mind.

6. Laugh with others

A good laugh with someone you love can release endorphins, boost mood, and lighten your whole system.

7. Create a mantra

Choose a simple phrase to anchor your mind, such as:

“I am allowed to rest.”
“I choose peace over perfection.”
“I am doing the best I can.”

Repeat it throughout your day, especially when stress rises.

8. Mindful moments

Bring mindfulness into ordinary tasks—drinking tea, washing your face, walking to the letterbox. Feel each movement. Notice your senses.

9. A cold finish in the shower

Ending your shower with 20–30 seconds of cool or cold water can boost circulation and release feel-good hormones. Go gently and listen to your body.

10. Practice intentional “nothing”

Give yourself permission to do “nothing” in whatever way feels nourishing—sit in the backyard with a cuppa, watch a favourite show, lie on the grass and watch the sky.

These small acts of self-care aren’t indulgent; they’re essential maintenance for your nervous system—especially in busy or uncertain times.

Reflecting on Peace

Amidst all this talk of stress, I’d love to invite you into a softer reflection on peace.

Take a moment to gently explore:

What does peace feel like in my body?
Where in my daily life can I create moments of peace?
How might I share a little more peace with others—in my home, my workplace, or my community?

You don’t have to wait for the world to be perfect to experience peace. It can be found in a single breath, a gentle stretch, a kind thought, a quiet cup of tea.

You Don’t Have to Navigate Stress Alone

Stress is part of being human, but so is resilience, connection, and healing.

By bringing gentle awareness to your thoughts, feelings, and habits – and by choosing supportive ways to care for yourself – you can create more moments of calm, clarity, and joy in your everyday life.

Yoga offers a powerful path back to yourself:

back to your breath
back to your body
back to a quieter, kinder inner voice

As we move through life’s storms (whether it’s a busy season at work, a family challenge, a cyclone on the horizon, or the deep waters of grief)—may we remember that self-care is not selfish. It’s how we recharge our batteries so we can keep showing up for ourselves and for others.

I’ll finish with one of my favourite reminders: